Red Hat Society
'When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat, which doesn't go and doesn't suit me...Maybe I ought to practice now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised when suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.' - Jenny Joseph - 'Warning'

Newsboy photos/ Sharon Kerr BLING AND FEATHERS, more is better and nothing is too big or bright for Red Hatters.Above, Marilyn Ratcliff sports her boa on her head. Below, Johnnie Beth Freeman needs a few more rings.

It's a little hard to pin down what a Red Hat Society is, when the first and only rule is: the spirit of the Red Hat Society forbids rules.

Some chapters go so far as to have an anti-parliamentarian who enforces the rule that there are no rules.

But it's not hard at all to spot a Red Hat group on the loose. They are all women "of a certain age" dressed in full finery, the more red, purple, feather and flash the better.

How did all this nonsense start?

It began with a poem, Warning, by Jenny Joseph that begins, "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat, which doesn't go and doesn't suit me."

It goes on to describe a life properly lived, setting a good example for the children. The warning is that the woman is now planning in her elder years "to make up for the sobriety of my youth... to go out in the rain and pick flowers in other people's gardens."

QUEEN KATRINA, Mother of All Storms, aka Marcia Byerly (left) and Anna Swearingen discuss a trip to the peddler's market in Beaumont.

She goes on to wonder, "Maybe I ought to practice now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised when suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple."

So that is what a Red Hat Society is, women practicing to be as old and improper and wildly funny as they can manage. If you don't believe it, look out because they may slap you with a purple feather boa or bash you with a fake red ruby ring. Just because they favor high tea with pinkies sticking out doesn't mean these ladies are frail flowers.

The Jazzy Jewels of Jasper are one of the most active Red Hat Societies in the area, and the only one officially recognized on the Red Hat Society website within 50 miles of zip 75951.

Marcia Byerly is the Queen; her royal name is Queen Katrina Mother of All Storms. Liz Connell is Vice Queen, but beyond that there is little formality, as is fitting the spirit of Red Hats.

Newsboy photo/ Sharon Kerr

The Jewels meet the last Thursday of every month at different restaurants, or sometimes at members' homes for a potluck supper and games.

They also get together for road trips to peddler's markets, Mardi Gras, movies, shopping, just about any excuse will do.

Locally, they entertained the crowd at the Azalea Fest this past spring with an eye-popping fashion parade and poetry reading. During the festival they also hosted a High Tea for Red Hatters who came from all over Southeast Texas. They regularly win trophies for their red and purple floats in the Jasper Lions rodeo parade.

There are many more Red Hat groups who never register with the official website, but meet frequently for dress ups and good ol' gal times.

Kirbyville's chapter has come up with a new wrinkle: knighting the menfolk. Red Hats celebrate sisterhood, but they don't mind a little assistance from their knights occasionally.

Jasper Nursing and Rehabilitation has a Red Hat group; their senior member was Annie Washington, who died recently at age 100.

To be a Red Hatter you have to be 50 before you are woman enough to wear the red and purple. Junior members are allowed pink and lavender until they reach the half-century benchmark. On that auspicious occasion, they "red-uate" to the full splendor of royal colors.

Queen Katrina announced at the June meeting that the Jasper chapter will host the Queens' Council the second weekend in September, details to be conspired.